Written by Fadeke Banjo.
Photos of Guest: Adeola Banjo (My mother). Photos were taken on an iPhone.
Hey curl friends, Fadeke Here, Today’s blog post will be part of a series entitled 'Hair story' where I interview black women in my life on their journey and experiences in learning to embrace their natural hair. Honest, authentic conversations on black women's relationship with their natural hair and the ups and downs that come with it. I want to introduce you to my first ever guest on this blog, and the first woman I have interviewed for the 'Hair story' series, is none other than my wonderful mother. I recently had a down to earth conversation with my mother about her journey to embracing her naturally curly hair and the events in her life that brought her to the decision to wear and embrace her natural hair. This conversation inspired this blog, and I hope you enjoy reading it.
What is your name?
''Adeola Banjo.''
When did you start your natural hair journey?
‘’I have had my natural hair for a year or so, now’’ said my mum, when asked when she started her natural hair journey and how long she has had her natural hair.''
‘’I have always preferred the natural hair but at one point in time due to the nature of my job I had to get ready and as a mum with young children at the time it was a lot safer for me to opt for wearing extensions and to relax my hair and be able to make my way to work. But about 5 to 6 years ago I decided to stop putting any chemicals in my hair in regard to putting relaxer in my hair, so I stopped, and I decided to cut my hair very low. I then started to have my hair in some twist and then I decided to go for dreadlocks with my natural hair and I had that for around four years or more. Later on, I got tired of this and then I had to shave my hair again and start from and I have been doing that now for a year plus, whereby I just leave my natural hair.'' - Adeola Banjo
In Nigeria, when growing up, did you see anyone that looked like you with their natural hair?
''Yes, a lot, when I was growing up, I lived in Nigeria with my parents, my father was very strict and as a result of us being four girls, My dad didn’t like any artificial hair or putting a chemical on our hair or having an extension in, so it has to be natural. Either you cut low, or you plait your natural hair and that is the way I was brough up. Also growing up in Nigeria at that particular time going to school whether you are in primary school or secondary school you weren’t allowed to have your hair relaxed. And every Friday they would tell you how you should plait your natural hair and if you didn’t plait it in the particular style, they would ask you to lose it and you would receive some sort of punishment, so they get the message that you have to follow the rules.'' - Adeola Banjo
Did you see your mum (A.K.A, my Grandma) with her natural hair when growing up?
‘’Yes , because my mum didn’t like all these artificial things and we grew up with that and if you don’t see her doing it where would you see it, so she just liked to comb her hair out. I remember when she was working as a civil servant going into the office, she would just comb her hair out (in an afro style) but when she retired, I think they made her redundant the company shut down and she self-employed doing her own thing, she just decides to shave her hair down and since then she is now going to be 80, she has always had a low cut. Yes, natural hair she doesn’t put any artificial thing in her hair. So, her hair has always been like that, and I think that is the way she was brought up because her mum has never put relaxer in her hair.'' - Adeola Banjo
Here is a photo of my grandma with her natural hair in a Afro hairstyle, this was photo was taken during her time in Munich Germany in 1967's. She was 25 in this photo:
How was your experience when you came to England? Was it different? Did you see any black women wearing their natural hair in England at the time?
"Ermm... not really, so when I came to England, I was born in England, but I came back close to when I was turning 27. So, when I came, I noticed that it was difficult to get hair product for my hair, because despite there being black hair shops to get your hair products they were mostly owned by and catered for Afro-Caribbean hair, they are more towards Caribbean, you don’t really get Nigerian African products, so they might just put the umbrella ‘Afro-Caribbean but it’s more of Caribbean than African, west African, kind of hair products.''
''Because our hair products are different from the Jamaican and the Caribbeans, so it was so difficult, but it was something that was close to what I could get rather than not having anything.''
''When I started going to the salon here, I started going to the Caribbean salons because I couldn’t find a proper Nigerian salon to get my hair done. However, lucky from a young age, I have sisters, I have friends, I went to girls only school, so we do our hair together. So that was an advantage for me because I was able to do my hair.'' - Adeola Banjo.
'' When it came to getting my hair done, I was introduced by a friend at the time from Jamaica to go to this Caribbean owned salon, when it came to this salon you had to book in advance, this was for 2 weeks and if you missed your appointment you had to wait another two weeks. So, I only attended the salons a couple more times and then I decided that I had to be doing my hair by myself.’’ - Adeola Banjo.
My mother came to England around 1997. She mentioned during the interview that the natural hair movement wasn’t as prevalent at the time as it is today. Here is what she had to say regarding this and her experience:
"Yes it wasn’t prevalent at that time, because when I came to England I struggled a bit when it came to taking care of my hair, there wasn’t any YouTube to learn how to take care of your natural hair and there was not that much people advocating for natural hair at the time, you just had to figure it out on your own or just put whatever you could get in your hair and just get on with it because, it’s like coming to a country requesting for a body cream for black people, the black population wasn’t as massive as it is now and that was almost 25 or 26 years ago, so the black population has really increased.'' - Adeola Banjo.
Furthermore, during the interview, my mother also briefly spoke to me about the challenges she faced when dealing with my natural hair when I was little and the reasoning behind her decision to relax my hair when I was younger and some of the regrets in making this decision. Here is what she had to say:
"Well even after given birth to my daughter, who is going to be 22 soon, I struggled with your hair as your hair was very thick and the hair products available in the stores such as the detangler products didn’t really work for your hair. For your hair type you might have to buy two bottles of detangler product just to get your hair detangled, so it was difficult but there was nothing I could do, I just had to get on with it and manage to plait your hair. There wasn’t any Afro-Caribbean salon that deals with natural hair, you might go there and think this is a black salon but they use relaxer to chemically straighten your hair, that all they knew at the time and even if you found a salon that catered to natural hair it was 1 out of 10 or out of 20 salons that did and it is very rare and it would be quite expensive and you would spend a lot of money for them to deal with their natural hair’’. - Adeola Banjo.
My mother decided to chemically straighten my hair around my 2nd birthday as she felt that it would make it easier for me and thought it would make my hair more manageable. However, that was the last time she relaxed my hair. She had some regrets about relaxing my hair at such a young age, as she discovered that I was losing some hair due to the relaxer in my hair after a month or two of having the relaxer. Since that time, I will be 22 years old soon, and she has never put a relaxer in my hair. However, she used what is known as a hot comb to straighten my hair for a couple of years. She mentioned that the relaxer that she had put on my hair when I was younger had some long-term effect on my hair, including my hair at the time was thin.
Did I inspire you in any way to want to start your journey of embracing your natural hair?
''Yes! defiantly, you did, so when you decided to cut your hair and start your natural hair journey at first I wasn’t happy because your hair was growing, it was thin but it was still growing and I didn’t want you to cut your hair at first, but I just said well let’s go for it and that inspired me as well, that it’s possible to start from the beginning and your natural hair will grow again and you start the process the journey your self and your now more mature to take care of your hair yourself. And what also inspired me was YouTube and seeing a lot of people doing their natural hair, giving tips and ideas on how people can manage it without breaking the bank, which is quite amazing because 25 years ago there wasn’t anything like that.'' - Adeola Banjo.
"The YouTube was a lifesaver because the videos teach you how to take care of your natural hair and you can just do yourself at home instead of going to the salon. So, YouTube and my daughter and even the outcome of my natural hair has inspired me to continue, because when I started seeing my natural hair, I feel happy and it saved me money, so I have saved a lot of money since I started. The last time I went to a salon was around 6 years ago, so that means I have saved a lot of money.’’ - Adeola Banjo.
Many people who have curly hair and within the black natural hair community are hesitant to dye their natural hair because they are afraid of breaking their hair and damaging it. However, when my mother decided to embrace her naturally curly hair, she decided to dye her hair red and has rocked this look ever since. So, I asked her to tell me her experience of having her natural hair dyed and how she has tried to maintain it whilst taking care of the health of her natural hair. She also mentioned the reason why she decided to dye her natural hair. Here is what she had to say:
‘’ Well I think for me, as an individual, apart from having something different to having my black hair, now that I am natural and my hair is short I just wanted to jazz up my hair to make it look different to suit my personality and suit me … that’s why I decided to add colour to it, but luckily for me I’ve been having the coloured hair for about 5 years now or even more and touch wood it hasn’t affected my hair, but supposing I still had relaxer in my hair and adding colour to it I won’t be saying the same thing. Because I know the relaxer is going to make my hair so thin and putting colour on it will make my hair feel even weaker. So having my natural hair dyed I haven’t had any bad experience so far’’. Adeola Banjo
The last question, for the future generation as well as people from your generation, how would you try to inspire them to want to embrace their natural hair or consider starting their natural hair?
"Well, I would encourage people to do whatever works well for them, whatever suits them, whatever makes them feel happy because your hair is your crown and it’s one of the things that frame your face… apart from people seeing your smile, if you have a good hair, people will see that you're taking good care of yourself. It’s an area to be well kept, especially for women it’s your crown so you have to maintain it… I can imagine during the lockdown people couldn’t do anything they just had to fix their hair before fixing anything, that is how important our hair is, even for a male or female, it is something that makes you unique and different and for the natural hair it’s your identity, that this is me, this is my hair, take me for who I am if you don’t like my hair tough, but this is me’’. - Adeola Banjo
"One good thing about natural hair is that you can style it the way you want, compared to if you have a relaxer because of the texture, they might be a limitation on how you can style your hair, but for the natural hair so far you treat it well, you can decide to pack it up or have it loose’’.- Adeola Banjo.
Also, do you have any favourite celebrity that wears their natural hair that you like to follow on Instagram?
‘’Well, I don’t really follow people on Instagram, but there is this singer from America called Erykah Badu, I have seen her singing in films before and I like her hair, I like the uniqueness of the way she dresses and the way she styles her hair, it suits her, and I like it. I am also my own inspiration; I like the way I look with my natural hair’’. Adeola Banjo
I enjoyed having this honest conversation with my mother about her journey of embracing her natural hair and the different stories leading up to her decision to wear her natural hair with pride. I also enjoyed finding out that my great-grandma and my grandma also wore and embraced their natural hair for many years within the family.
When did you start your journey of embracing your naturally curly hair? And have you inspired any family member to do the same? If so, please comment below or tweet it on Twitter with the hashtags #HairStoryseries #Mynaturalhairjourney #MyNaturalCrownandIblog.
Alternatively, if you would like for your story to be featured on this blog as part of this Hair talk series, please leave your contact details below and email me a short word document with your hair story. So be on the lookout; your story may just be featured on this blog.
Also, I may be setting up a podcast for this blog very soon, with a 'Hair story' segment, so stay tuned for updates regarding this and how you can get involved in the podcast.
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Love from your fellow curl friend and mentor, Fadeke
Bye for now!
Gif of a kid waving goodbye and sliding down a slide
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