Written by Fadeke Banjo. 28th June 2021(updated 8th July 2021). This blog explores four lesson's Fadeke Banjo has learnt about her natural hair.
Hey, curl friends, Fadeke here. In today’s blog, I will be discussing four major lessons I have learnt about natural hair over the years. I started my natural hair journey in 2014. When I decided to embrace my natural curly afro hair and cut my long relaxed (chemically straighten hair) hair all off. I have been on this journey of embracing natural hair for the past seven to eight years. Throughout this journey, I have learned a lot about my natural hair, consisting of highs and low moments and many trials and errors along the way. However, this blog post will only focus on four major lessons I have learnt about my natural hair, which has helped me learn how to take care of my hair but has also helped me learn to love how unique and stunning my natural hair truly is. I hope you enjoy the topic for today’s blog and can take something from it.
Lesson number 1: Not every natural haircare rule applies to your natural hair and hair care needs
As you enter into the wonderful world of the online natural hair community on YouTube and other online platforms. You will come across a vast amount of information and opinions on what you should and should not do when it comes to taking care of your natural hair. Over the years of being part of this community, I have seen specific trends and opinions come and go from the natural hair community. From the rice water trend to the no oil trend and so many. This can be overwhelming at times. You might feel pressured by natural hair influencers to buy every natural hair product under the sun or try every DIY homemade natural hair remedy. However, I have learned most things in life; you got to take everything with a pinch of salt. I am what would be considered in the natural hair world, ‘A lazy natural’ I don’t like to do too much when it comes to my natural hair. I want to keep it simple and stick to natural hair products that work with my hair type. However, I, too, went on the bang Wang to jump on to every natural hair trend in the past. It got to the point that I tried making the whole DIY avocado and olive oil hair mask for my natural hair. Now tell me why I spent hours washing out the DIY mask, trying to take out pieces of avocado from my hair. That was a total nightmare. *Disclaimer I am not saying you shouldn’t try some DIY hair mask for your naturally curly hair from time to time. However, know that not everything will work out the same way you see from the DIY hair mask videos. I recommend having a store-bought hair mask specifically for naturally curly hair on the deck and making sure you watch multiple videos that include correct measurements when making your natural hair mask for your curly hair.
Lesson number 2: You’re not always going to be in love with your natural hair, and that’s okay
Yes, I said it; now, this may come across as strange or contradict this natural hair blog’s overall aim and stance; however, I want you to hear me out. Even the things you love can irritate you sometimes, or you may even fall out of love with something you loved much. This could be a favourite hobby you use to love but no longer desire to do anymore. Your natural hair is not an exception to this. Often, it may come across within the black natural hair community that you must love and embrace your natural hair all the time, but this is unrealistic, just like the concept that you must be happy all the time is unrealistic. I have at times falling out of love with my natural hair and have considered cutting all my hair off. I have also been tempted to relax my hair again (chemically straighten it). Yeah, I know you may have just gasped after reading that last line, but this is how I have genuinely felt at times. When I first started my natural hair journey, when I cut my hair, despite being excited to start this journey, I sometimes felt almost naked and insecure with my short hair as I was so used to having my long hair. In addition, I also had no clue how to take care of my natural hair, and it would often feel and look dry at times, which made me feel frustrated and insecure. Furthermore, even when my hair started growing and I learnt how to take care of my hair. I will try and follow a video on a new hairstyle look for black natural curly hair. I wanted to try out on my hair but would often be disappointed with the outcome as my hair did not remotely look like the young lady’s hair on my screen. I would not want to deal with my natural hair other times, and I would ask my mum to braid my hair with some extensions and call it a day. Nevertheless, even during those moments when I am not particularly in love with how my natural hair looks, I allow myself to have those moments because they are just moments that come and go at the end of the day. Before I know it, my mood has changed. I look at my hair in the mirror or look at past photos of my natural hair or watch a video of women embracing their naturally curly, kinky coils. I fall back in love with my natural hair again. If, at this moment, as you read this blog post, you are not feeling very confident with your natural hair, know you are not alone. This moment will pass eventually, and you will begin to see the beauty of your natural hair. It is called a natural hair journey for a reason, it’s a journey with its ups and downs, and it’s more than just about your hair. The journey is also about discovering yourself and seeing yourself grow and change.
Lesson number three: ‘Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t compare your natural hair to others’
In the world of social media, we are constantly bombarded with images and messages that are constantly telling us how we should look grab our attention in a matter of seconds. The natural hair community is no different, and this is no shade to natural hair pages on social media. I believe these pages can be a source of inspiration for many people, including myself, who are embracing wearing their natural hair or starting the journey of embracing their God-given hair, however on the flip side, I have caught myself many at times comparing my natural hair texture and length to other women with natural hair, and at times they may have a different curl type than I or similar curl type. Still, their hair was longer than mine at the time. For instance, I would see a lady on YouTube or a social media platform with long Rapunzel-like luscious curly hair, sometimes reaching to either her bra strap or to her back. This was extremely difficult for me, especially during the earlier stages of my natural hair journey when I had short hair, and it felt like my hair was not growing at the same rate as some of the ladies I saw online with their natural hair. I believe at some point that I was not pretty with my short hair, or I had desired to have a different curl texture than the one I have and wanted super long hair. However, after a couple of years of my natural hair journey, I learnt to embrace my naturally curly hair with its kinky textured and tight coils and how unique it truly is. With patience and taking care of my hair, my hair has grown over the years (as expected). However, the desire for long hair is not my number one priority as it was before. But instead, I want to make more of an effort to maintain the health of my natural hair, which will promote length. Moreover, a lot of factors contribute to whether or not someone with naturally curly hair would have long hair or not including the role genetics plays as well as the person’s diet as there are certain food help provide the nutrients for your natural hair, as well as the person’s overall lifestyle and lastly how they take care of their natural hair overall. With this being said, I am learning not to compare my natural hair to others.
Lesson number four: Try not to do your hair when you're angry. Instead, treat your hair like it’s a Plant.
Several times I have decided to wash and style my hair at night, which has resulted in waiting for my hair to dry. Then have the tedious task of twisting my hair, which sometimes takes me a couple of hours or so, sometimes in the earlier hours of the morning, which leads to oversleeping. At this point, I may find myself feeling tired and cranky and frustrated with my hair because sometimes I have a go-to hairstyle in mind but then at the last minute or halfway through styling my hair. I have had moments when I have had a mini-breakdown when combing my hair or twisting my hair. (I can be a bit dramatic when it comes to dealing with my hair) and I want to cry or just cut my hair because my hair is not cooperating with me. I say this to essentially say do not repeat deal with your natural hair when you are angry, emotional, or tired. Knowing that I do all these things that I am telling you not to do, I am not perfect. Still, I have learned that you have got to be patient and take your time when it comes to naturally curly hair. I would advise perhaps picking a day where you dedicate yourself to taking care of your natural hair. Also, try to be in a good mood when you about to handle your naturally curly hair. I love playing music most of the time; I am washing and styling my natural hair. Not only does it help fill in time, but it puts me in a good mood. Finally, your hair is like a plant, and you need to water it. It would help if you gave its nutrients (including using good natural hair products on your hair and what you eat, and your overall lifestyle impacts your natural hair). Also, just like a plant needs patience’s and time to grow, so does your natural hair, so take your time with it.
Whether you have been on the natural hair journey scene for years or a beginner, or perhaps just curious. I hope these four lessons I have shared with you regarding my natural hair and some of the advice I gave will be helpful to whoever reads this. So, What are some of the lessons you have learnt about your natural hair?
Feel free to comment down your thoughts or share a tweet with your thoughts using the hashtags #naturalhairlessons and #mynaturalcrownandiblog. Also, be sure to tag me @Mynaturalcrownandiblog.
Do check out a blog post from a fellow UK natural hair blogger, Caron, who is the face behind the blog ‘Heybellissimo’. The blog focuses on all things natural hair, beauty, and travel. In this blog post, she talks about lessons she has learned since starting her natural hair journey. Heyblellissimo (2020) ‘Lessons I Learnt Since Going Natural’. 28th March. Available at: https://www.heybellissimo.com/home/lessons-i-learnt-since-going-natural (Accessed: 8th July 2021).
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Love, from your curl friend and mentor Fadeke
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